What’s Relationship Trauma?
Many of us are familiar with Post-traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) primarily in the context of military experiences, stemming from combat situations. PTSD often occurs when an individual has exposure to actual or threatened death, serious injury, or sexual violence.
Complex or relationship trauma is also referred to as slow trauma, complex trauma, or developmental trauma. CPTSD differs from traditional PTSD in that it arises from prolonged exposure to traumatic events during childhood.
Relationship trauma happens when there’s abuse and/or neglect during your formative childhood years. This can include various forms of mistreatment, such as abandonment and abuse spanning physical, emotional, verbal, and spiritual dimensions. Relationship trauma can also occur in situations of narcissistic abuse.
At the heart of CPTSD, there’s emotional neglect, where the absence of a nurturing caregiver leaves the individual without a safe harbor to seek solace or protection. This lack of safety and connection is deeply impactful and has consequences that can last a lifetime.
Toxic Mothers impact People-Pleasing
Having a Toxic Mother is one way that we develop relationship trauma.
Learn more about what makes a mom toxic and what you can do if you had or have a toxic mom here.
Signs from your childhood that might indicate you’ve been affected by Complex PTSD:
- Enduring periods of physical or sexual abuse over a prolonged duration.
- Experiencing ongoing verbal or emotional abuse, which includes instances of feeling intimidated, threatened, shamed, or subjected to name-calling.
- Being treated with contempt by a caregiver. This includes experiences of denigration, rage, or disgust from a parent.
- Enduring emotional neglect, where you didn’t receive the necessary support, safety, education, or advocacy during intense emotional experiences.
- Feeling like your voice wasn’t heard or valued, and that your caregivers didn’t honor your opinions, values, or desires.
- Facing resistance or retaliation from caregivers when attempting healthy self-assertion, often being labeled as “selfish,” ignored, or punished for expressing yourself.
Common symptoms of Relationship Trauma:
- Persistent social anxiety
- Triggers and intense emotional reactivity or emotional flashbacks
- An Inner Critic or negative self-talk
- Toxic shame
- Patterns of self-abandonment